Yungt33nluvr

To bypass the Rapidshare check, stick the file in a zip or a rar with a small text file containing some random keystrokes. If the upload is deleted, simply change a letter or two in that text file and reupload.

A password is not required, and doesn't even help.

wraith wrote:

Okay, that's what it was. I don't think I'll even bother with it though, because until I get VIP status here, it's not even worth it, as I cannot update it. Thank you for the advise though.

yunglatinaluvr wrote:

Okay -- tried PM'ing you a few days ago, only to have it fail after trying to "preview" it ... ended up losing everything I'd written. Which was of course the most TREMENDOUSLY PROFOUND thing you could ever read! JK. Anyway out of frustration I just x'ed out. Then I just got back today, saw your note, tried PM'ing you again, and the same exact thing happened, only I had wised up and tried "previewing" after only one paragraph, so I didn't lose much. Figured I'd just write again in here, minus the more private stuff.

Speaking of which, in case you didn't know already, I should let you know that on occasion an admin(s) randomly checks PMs ... understandable as they have to keep people from doing things against forum rules, which has been a problem in the past. Just letting you know in case there's anything in there you'd rather not have anyone read. For anything really private, email is best, so send me your email addy if you'd like to correspond outside this place, or send me a request for mine, blah blah blah.

Most of what you originally wrote me is probably outdated anyway, since it was before YTL passed and some of the things you mentioned are now or should be now water under the bridge (e.g. regarding members of your family). I would say that I hope you don't feel guilty for anything going forward. You're human, you made mistakes ... so did he. So does everybody. Try to put it out of your mind. Acceptance is what its all about. You're certainly going to go through enough emotions (and you already have) going forward, so you have to remember to go easy on yourself.

One of the best things about Grimble is that yes he really is that profound, but he doesn't seem to know it, so it comes across with even more sincerity. I have never found a better person online, in all my ramblings, even in non-pRon forums. We're better off having him around as much as possible, and don't be fooled by that relatively small post count of his. Under a previous name he had like another 2200 posts, and he's been around here longer than I have (February of 2005 in his case).

See you at the watering hole. And take care -- again, glad to hear about your clean bill of health.

RM

ramblin'man wrote:
RM,

My browser does the same thing to me all the time if I am typing a long response, and I wind up losing everything I just spent 20 minutes writing So, what I do now (and what I AM doing NOW) is typing my response into notepad, then I will copy and paste it when I am finished.

I know admins check PMs, and that's totally understandable. I know YTL had some issues a couple times trying to share a PW or something and got busted! As far as the things in the past, I agree that they SHOULD be left in the past, but I DO have some guilt issues about some things that happened. I am PMing you my email, and would appreciate the same in return. I have no problem moving forward, I think that should be pretty obvious from my postings here, but I am still upset.

At any rate, thank you for taking the time to respond again...it is greatly appreciated.

yunglatinaluvr wrote:
For what it's worth, the mods are as confused as you are. My current guess is that GS did the moving and hasn't notified the rest of us as to why.

I'm currently asking if it's possible to accelerate your status.

wraith wrote:

Thank you Mr wraith. I'm almost halfway there I do appreciate any help I get.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
__________________________________________________________

Coldplay is great, and I love this song. Means a lot to me, more now than ever. It's been a week now and I REALLY need someone to fix me.

I am sorry to bring the board down. I just had to get that out.

I'm so sorry. Not sure what to say, except though some scars will always remain, time heals all wounds. Wish you the best.

Thank you. The funeral is tomorrow, and that makes everything seem so final. Despite my constant posting here, I have been going through a lot over the past couple weeks emotionally. Let's just say that after the funeral I will be seeking professional help to get over some unresolved issues.

My mother and daughter have been helpful being around here, but I spend most of my time locked in my bedroom. Either crying or uploading and posting in this wonderful place. I don't work due to my illness, so that leaves a lot of time on my hands, and I am only sleeping about 3 to 4 hours a night. Again, I know this may not make a whole lot of sense, but it's the way I'm coping. Of course, it may just be another thing to bring up to the "Dr."

Okay, this will PROBABLY be my last post in this particular thread. I feel that after the funeral, there is "enough" closure to end this thread. Not to lock it, but as far as posting updates.

The funeral yesterday was an absolute disaster. I MEAN an absolute disaster. I am more than heartbroken right now. For so many reasons that I don't know where to even start. I spent most of yesterday afternoon in my room all day just crying uncontrollably. Besides myself, Ashley (my daughter) and my mother, his dad and mom...a total of only 3 other people showed up. Bringing the grand total to 8 "guests"...not counting the minister and Robert. I REALLY thought more people would show up...people he worked with, people he was in the Army with. I mean, he HAD friends, or so I had thought. God...what a mess. The mortician did such a HORRIBLE job on him that it didn't even remotely look like him. I should have had him cremated, or a closed casket.

My mother and his parents went home within a couple hours after the service ended at 11, and Ashley stayed...just tightly holding me on the bed as we both sobbed until we fell asleep for a couple hours. The ONLY person that has PHYSICALLY been here for me has been my beautiful girl.

I was up all night last night, just reflecting on the past. Bad thing to do.

Thank you all for your kind words and condolances. They have been greatly appreciated. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share here.

yunglatinaluvr wrote:

Hmm...quoting myself! What has this place come to?!

Anyways...I thank you all AGAIN for the condolances, but they can stop now.

In a small nutshell:

With the help of my daughter and a "professional" Counselor. I have recently come to the realization that I am a hypocrite. RM can attest to this fact from my email to him. Without going into details, I will just say that I will NO LONGER be the wounded widow. YTL and I did NOT part on good terms, there were some issues that were unresolved between us...something that I did a long time ago, that I did not let him in on. Anyway, (in MY opinion) he left this world hating me.

I MUST continue on with my life. It is imperative to me. Damn, I'm so tired I can't think right now.

I STILL love and will miss my husband, he was a great part of my life for many years, but it is time for me to move on. I am counting my posts to 300 so I can get into VIP and my thread, but I will do it soon.

PLEASE don't think I'm a raving lunatic...I am semi-clear minded at the moment

I may regret this post later like tomorrow morning after I sober up, but I guess I can just edit it.

Oh i hope it doesnt mean we cant post here anymore? (Because im broking this rule in this moment o_O)

Anyway i want to say that there is no way anybody would leave this world in hatred towards the persons that were close to them.
And whatever you did you can't be a hypocrite. You are mourning and it is obvious to everybody! Love exceeds our failures and the consequences following them because its an emotion we can't control nor change by will.
But seriously you need a timeout.

Scorplex wrote:
No, it doen't mean no one can post here, and I thank you for breaking the rules. You are correct I guess...I just FEEL he left with hatred toward me, at least disappointment. As I said there were issues, one main one in particular.

I am putting myself on a time out. Going to stand in the corner for a while. I was tired and drunk last night when I posted, a bad thing to do. <ost importantly people, please feel free to continue posting here. I appreciate all comments. And one final word Scorplex, I AM mourning, but at the same time I am confused and upset.

wraith wrote:

Now the thread in my signature has been moved as well with absolutely no attempt to notify me as to why. Is someone f****ing with me? WTF is going on here? My sig picture is gone as well

BTW, this post is also being used to bump up my post count so I can access those threads.

yunglatinaluvr wrote:That sounded absolutely HORRIBLE when I read it this morning...sorry. No disrespect meant.